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The Skyliner

Screaming at a Wall

The world's jolliest man wrapped in the world's biggest lie

By: Cody Fields

Issue date: 11/29/06 Section: Opinion
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It's that time of the year again. It is a time for red, white and green items to fill multiple shelves in your local megastore; it is a time for the politically correct "Happy Holidays" greeting to replace "Merry Christmas." It is the time for the commercialization of what could be a great holiday. It is also a time of traditional deceit in a mythological fat man named Santa Claus.

Santa Claus is based on the tale of Saint Nicholas, who was a bishop in modern day Turkey during the third and fourth centuries and who was renowned for aiding the needy. Somehow, the true Saint Nicholas has evolved into Santa Claus here, Father Christmas and other names elsewhere. Santa Claus is often described as a rather portly man, with rosy cheeks and nose, a white beard, red and white coat and black boots. His main form of transportation is a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer. He lands on rooftops, slides down chimneys, and deposits gifts for children across the world in a single night. Somehow, he packs enough stuff in his sack to supply the billions of children in the world with toys. This is pretty impressive or, more likely, impossible.

This lie has even made its way into the North American Aerospace Defense Command. NORAD tracks the flight of Santa Claus for children who call in wanting to know his location. They say they can do this because "Rudolph's nose gives off an infrared signature similar to a missile launch," according to noradsanta.org.

The question is, why do parents across the globe intentionally lie to their children about an obese man defying laws of physics all the while delivering gifts to everyone in the world in a single night? The myth says if you're good, Santa will bring a lot of goodies to you, but if you're naughty, you'll get lumps of coal. Essentially, generations of children across the world have been taught a doctrine saying, "If you're good boy, you'll get a boatload of stuff."

Back to the original question, why do parents lie to their children about this? My guess is so they'll shut up in the grocery store instead of pulling all the cereal boxes on the floor or something to that effect, and they justify it by saying that their kid will have such a great time with it.

What about when he finds out that Santa Claus doesn't exist? Children are crushed all the time when they find out the jolly old fat man has all been a dupe.

If parents lie to their children about something so "innocent" such as Santa, what is to keep them from lying about the purpose of life or the existence of God?

Obviously, lying is wrong on any occasion, so why would we leave one out? Let us eradicate this Sir Santa of Claus from our society in an effort to bring Christmas back to its roots.
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